The Wishing Tree

When Tyler and I made the decision to send Sayler to a school that specializes in autism, we knew we had to make some changes financially to make it happen. We also had some medical bills that had accumulated and was just wanting to get out of dept. So the decision was made and we sold our beautiful new home and bought his grandparents seventy something year old home. After a few weeks of living in a trailer I didn't care what the house looked like I just needed a house. We have done some work to it and there are times I do wish a tornado would just come and rip it away. This old house is growing on me though and I can now say it is HOME. We have had so many good things happen in this home so far, and with the economy the way it has been for some I am just thankful I have a home. It has its perks. The yard is amazing. Lots of big shade trees that makes for a cool summer. One of the old trees out front has an old Times News box bolted on. I had tried to rip it off but I believe it has grown into the tree. Its just not coming off, and now I am glad it wouldn't. What at first I thought was a big eye sore has now became one of those perks I was talking about. It is our "Wishing Tree". Magical things happen when you put your wishes in it. Like our wish lists to Santa, the Easter Bunny and even Leprechaun's. They don't even need to be addressed to any certain person. Just write the wish down and it Magically disappears....
One Sunday morning a while ago. We had been talking to Jaxsten about his appointment coming up with the heart doctor. He was having some new tests done that he hadn't before so we were just mentioning it to him now and again for his preparation. Hoping it would help to know what was coming. On this Sunday morning I was in the front room sitting with the kids when Jaxsten walked up and asked, "Mom do you have half a heart?" My answer was no. "Does dad have half a heart?" My answer again was "No buddy. We have a whole heart." Jaxsten, "Well McKinzee has a half a heart. Right?" I quickly realized what was going on and began to stumble with my words and emotions. Tyler and I had talked about this. What we would say. We have decided to be open and honest with him. All I have told him so far was that he was a "TRUE Super Hero" and that he was born with only half a heart and that he had to have it fixed. He was self conscious about his scar when he was little, so I began calling it his super hero scar. It quickly became something cool to show off rather than something to be ashamed of.  I thought I would be able to address this when the time came. I just didn't realize it would be here this quick. So I looked at Jaxsten and said again, "No buddy, hers isn't quite like yours. Would you like me to draw you a picture and show you?" We sat down and I drew it all out. After he just looked at me and said, "Oh". He then walked back into the kitchen and continued drawing. I felt some relief that the questioning was over. Thinking I needed to better prepare for next time. A little while later I noticed out the window Jaxsten walking to the "Wishing Tree." He placed in it a neatly folded paper, walked back into the house and began getting ready for church. Not saying another word about it. I too started getting everyone ready but the whole time wondering what he had put on that paper and if he was OK with what I had told him. We then left for church. I tried to pay attention to what was being said during Sacrament, but could not quit wondering about what was on that neatly folded piece of paper. After sacrament I got the children all to their classes and hurried home to that tree. As I opened that piece of paper and read what he had put, the emotions once again came over me as I completely lost it there in front of that wishing tree knowing that this is one wish I can not make come true.......

I wish for the other heart. Jaxsten

On a budget

I have been wanting to re-do my front room. I have had allot of ideas and wishes but not the money to do it. So I decided to challenge myself and see if I could accomplish this wish on a very small budget of $200.00 for the whole room including furniture. So it all started with two chairs I found for $50.00 a piece.

These chairs were my inspiration to the whole room.

So to start off I had to paint. I decided to go with a neutral color for an easy room change later if I decided since this ended up being the biggest cost of the whole project. Normally I will shop around for a color. Walmart and other paint supply places will have reject paints for 75% off. I have bought them before and just mixed. Became creative. But this time I was real set on wanting gray so I just went for the buy.

Then I began looking on line for old chairs and furniture. One old chair I had found at a yard sale and the other was an old one of Tyler's grandmas left at the house. A little wood glue, some black spray paint and some cute material and I had a couple of  "New" chairs. I then found a table and lamp that was from the New York New York in LasVegas. A little more paint and some major sanding and we got some cute accents.

I then went on line and found some drapes. I wanted a black and white drape but I couldn't find any within my budget so I went with a white panel and a black one. I took the black and had my friend Judy cut it in half and hem. I didn't want the black to be as thick.

For the decor I found an old wood latter that I cut up and painted white and then antiqued. I had some old wooden frames that I painted black to put my kiddos pics in.

So now for the big revile....Did I stay on budget......No!!!! After all that I am almost $100 over. I had to get some accent pillows and some more decor. I am also still on the hunt for an area rug. Its not too bad for the first room. The next room I will budget better...hehehe

Halloween 2011

My favorite holiday...Halloween. This year was so fun. With a little creativity Sayler finally wore her costume without a single fight...maybe just a little one on the red spray. I pondered and pondered on what I could get her to wear and finally came up with something out of her everyday clothes. At the same time I was able to tie her and Kinzee together. Of course the boys had to be something Nintendo related so Luigi and Warrio won out. I always dress up with my kids. So it turned out to be a great night with way to much candy. Always a fun holiday!!

 Staten...

 The Witch...

 Raggedy Ann and Andy...

 Hooray for candy...

I also had the fun opportunity to visit the Pumpkin Patch with Sayler and her class. It was so much fun being just her and I (no siblings). I wasn't sure what to think when I first got there to her class. Either she was mad I wasn't taking her home or she was mad I was there. I think it was more the mad I was there. I think she didn't want to go home and miss out and she thought I was going to take her. IDK its hard to know for sure whats going on with her sometimes. But after I fought the tears back we went and had so much fun. I just wasn't sure what to make of what I felt was her rejecting mom. I love my little angel. Happy later to realize mom will always be loved.

Count Your Blessings

He made it to 8!!! Yes what a celebration. If you would have told me 8 years ago that the day would come and Jaxsten would be as healthy as he is I would have not believed you. Wow! How far this kid has come and the fights he has won to get here.

                                           

Yes this was my little Jaxsten 8 years ago right before he went in for his first open heart surgery. 5 days old. He was so perfect on the outside. Such a beautiful little boy. It was hard to wrap my thoughts and feelings about what was going on in the inside of him. I can remember right before they took him in I leaned down to give him a kiss hoping it would not be my last and placing my ear to his chest to listen to his tiny half a heart beating. It was beating so strong. and has been beating just as strong ever since.

Then he went on to have the 2nd Open Heart Surgery at a little over 4 months. Then a 3rd and 4th just before he turned 2 years old. Jaxsten has been through so much. So many close calls. But he has been such a strong little fighter. "A TRUE SUPER HERO"

So now here we are today... eight great but trying years later and he is doing soooo Amazing!! He is my little Hero. I am so proud of him and the little man he has become. The wonderful choices he has made. He is such a great big brother and his little half a heart is so tender. He may only have half a heart but that half has a whole lot of love.

We count our blessings every day we wake up and realize Jaxsten is still with us here on this earth. Love you forever Jaxsten.... Forever and Always

Eazy Peezy

 Peaches...

 Pears....

 Tomatoes...

 Raspberry Jam...

Salsa...

So in my busy and crazy life as a mom of four....what mom is not crazy busy. I have found a need to keep up on my food storage. I have been working on getting my two year supply and it is coming along. My biggest issue (well there is a couple issues) one is using what I have. So I have started getting more of our "comfort foods" or foods that my family is comfortable eating and rotating through them each year. I always hit the sales but have made myself once I bring it home rotate it. I have also learned to bottle. Something I never thought I would do because it was so not cool. But now yes I am an uncool mom who bottles food and I love doing it!! I have now bottled a little of everything. The things my family love the most is of course the fruit, salsa and chicken. Yes, we go through allot of chicken and LOVE IT!! Even my Sayler will eat it ( a HUGE plus). The other big issue is finding recipes that go along with my food storage. So I sat down and thought of what my family liked and came up with my own.  But I wanted to share.... I found and easier way to bottle my fruit ( peaches and pears) I do not cook the juice separately. I just poor the sugar in with the cut fruit - I only do 1/4 cup because I don't like allot of sugar- and then I fill it up with water. Run my lids under hot water, screw on the lids and steam. Eazy Peazy!!!! Now I really don't mind bottling.

Hooray!!!!

So it has been a while and I am going to now try to catch up. But I had to post this exciting news!!! My Sayler traced her own name yesterday ON HER OWN!!! YES!!! This is sooo huge for her. Where she has autism and it has been hard to even get her to sit down and pick up a crayon or pencil, let alone use it, correctly, tracing her own name. WOW!! I started to cry when her teacher called me yesterday and told me all about it. Its all the little things like this that are so huge that make all of it worth it. She has also been singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". It has been so much fun because she does not have many words. Its a little hard to understand but it is the most beautiful song to me. I love how great she has been doing lately. The thing that I have loved the most lately that most of us take for granted is that she will now return my hugs. Oh how I have wanted this, just as much as I want to hear her say.."Mommy I love you" .... One of these days but for now I will take all of the hugs she has been giving, because I have waited 6 years for them. Hooray Sayler!!! I'm so proud of you.